The Blank Heroin Stare

Have you ever looked into the eyes of a Heroin user? If you were in a room full of people, you would probably be able to spot them straight away, even if the person wasn't showing any of the other associated signs of this drug use. There is something about their eyes that is unique and common in ALL Heroin users anywhere in the world.

Almost everyone knows someone or has heard of somebody who’s every waking hour is unwaveringly dedicated to the perpetuating pursuit of the amazing and comforting “rush”.
No body wakes up one day and decides to become an addict. But with all the information available and examples in the street, on TV and many other places, people still want to try it. Why?
Is it to prove a point? Or to find out what all the hype is about? Because if so many are “hooked” on it and won’t stop using, it must feel and be really fantastic, right? However, one of the contradicting things about it, is that, every single person who has been regularly using for a while will all say the same things like “I hate this life”, “I’m tired of this way of living “, “If I could turn back the clock I never would have started”, “It’s ruined my life” but when the cards are laid out on the table, they will still choose Heroin. So why do some people still want to give it a go?
 

Another incredible thing about it, is that the great majority (if not all regular users) don’t seem to know or notice when they actually “turned to the dark side of the force”. On retrospective, they’ll most likely associate this life changing moment to the first time they became “dope sick”. But none of them are able to say when the true “crossing” happened. They can only say when their lives changed from “this is a party”, “I’ve found the thing that I love”, “this makes me feel great”, “Why doesn’t everyone do this” to being a complete slave in the sense that their entire existence starting revolving around obtaining the next fix due to the devastating fear of withdrawal. But Heroin makes that all go away.
 

It’s probably around this time when jobs are lost, lying starts, families are torn apart, the body stops functioning properly, the daily scenarios start moving to the “dirty back streets” and what’s really ironic about it is that the drug makes you falsely immune to this so you just don’t care and still won’t stop using. It’s an emotional pain killer. It numbs you out. You live in denial.

But still there is somebody that starts down that path and think they are better than that, and that that will never happen to them. They all start with the “weekend warrior attitude” saying things like “oh, I’ll never get addicted” or “It’s only on special occasions or weekends” and other similar comments. Some may even succeed for a while, but then before they even realize it, Heroin rules their lives. Nothing else matters but the warm relaxing pleasure of “H”.
 

Nobody decides to be a junkie, but with hard drugs like this, there is no recreational side to it. Only 1% of users that quit stay clean. Are all people who start using convinced that they are part of that 1% ??? Another issue is that they don’t realize that even these who are able to stay clean, will battle with this addiction for the rest of their lives, even if they never ever use again.
 

Addicts will say that the main reasons for using Heroin are escape of emotional pressures, day-to-day living, forgetting childhood misfortunes and abuses, broken family backgrounds, rebellion, etc…
But “Smack” doesn’t single out people in these situations, it also claims victims from very the very opposite ends of society, and they will say they started it for excitement, living outside the rules, to thrill them out of boredom, etc…
 

No matter where they came from, what the reason for starting was, what, where or how their upbringing was, in any case, in the end, all addicts tell nearly the same stories.
Stories about when they first started, snorting or just smoking, how it was great and were able to keep it under control, and injecting was never going to be an option, and that they wouldn’t fall into the “Heroin trap”. Then, all of a sudden, they realize just snorting or smoking isn’t enough anymore and start injecting. Then one day further along the line they started feeling physically ill for no apparent reason and immediately realized it was due to the lack of Heroin. This alarm should be enough to scare them out of using anymore, but no, they are already blinded by the “security” of Heroin and so the endless pursuit begins (if not already for some time, the only difference is now they will probably openly admit it to people in the same situation)

They explain how after this point their lives fell apart, how they started lying, stealing etc, how they lost all their friends, family and way of life. How social exclusion that had creeped in totally depressed them even further into using. How absolutely crappy they felt about themselves and most importantly how they felt and knew they must stop and finally get out of the cycle, but at the same time felt trapped and didn’t have the desire to take the step to actually help themselves.
 

How they sank to the very low of low and started prostituting for money to get more dope or dope itself. Risking and experiencing the most unimaginable things like rape, being beaten up, stabbed, living surrounded by infection and disease, how some times they desperately tried to find a vein suitable to inject and had to “muscle it” in tears, creating massive cysts, sometime gangrene and other infections. Not to mention the constant risk of contracting HIV, Hepatitis and other virulent and deadly infections.
 

Heroin users go about their daily lives with blank stares in their eyes. Their soles, hearts, minds destroyed and absent from their physical bodies. Living in constant desperation, fear and danger, with the immediate goal of obtaining the next hit to make all that go away (for a short while), to be constantly injecting unknown impurities mixed in the Heroin itself (which are one of the main culprits of many ailments associated with this drug use) or face excruciating pain and illness or ultimately, a horrible Death.
 

Again, no one decides to become an addict, but they did choose to try heroin in the first place, even those who didn’t know what it was the first time it was given to them, they still decided to use it a second time. So,
 

WHY did they?
 

and you, do you still want to try it??

 

13.01.2012